


Another Chance

by Destiny_Enemy



Series: Recollection [1]
Category: Aphmau - Freeform - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bi Boi Laurance, Emotional Hurt, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, If they trigger/make you uncomfortable plz don't read, Warning: panic attacks, Zane and Laurance are Frenemies fight me, he's a mess, stay safe :3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiny_Enemy/pseuds/Destiny_Enemy
Summary: Night terrors, visions, blurry images that he couldn't quite make out, what did they mean? Where they a sign? Or a warning?Laurance struggles to piece together his scrambled mind, as he deciphers what's true and what it all means.





	1. They're just dreams

**Author's Note:**

> So, this obviously pulls away from Canon, but I've had this idea floating around in my head for a year now, and I finally got the motivation to write it. I'm not going to tell you what it's about, but you'll see 😉 
> 
> Anyway, enough of my ramblings, hope you enjoy!

Laurance jolted awake, a thin sheen of sweat covering his body, making it glisten from the pale moonlight that was streaming in through the small window of his room.

He shakily ran his hand through his damp locks, unsticking them from his forehead. He took one last reassuring glance around his darkened room, a sigh of relief leaving his mouth in a heavy exhale. He pushed the covers off his body, grimacing when they slightly stuck to his skin. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed, grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the bathroom.

He quietly opened the door to his room, just enough to slip out so as to not make too much noise. He made his way up the stairs to the main floor, muttering a quick curse when the floorboards creaked under him.

He slowly walked down the hall, the moon being the only illuminating source to guide his way. He pushed the door to the bathroom open, stepping inside the room before gently closing it behind him. He walked farther into the room, grabbing a spare towel from the closet before placing it and his clothes on the edge of the sink.

Laurance halted his movements, his hands quivering as he took a shaky breath of air. He gripped the sides of the sink, gritting his teeth before steeling himself. He looked up at the mirror, glaring as he tried to convince himself there was nothing to fear. He saw, rather than felt his face change, relief covering his features rapidly as he was met with bright blue eyes.

He shook his head at the ridiculousness of his unease, chuckling lightly to himself before turning the shower on. He removed his clothes with slightly shaking hands before stepping under the spray of comforting water.

He let the water cascade down his form, breathing in the now damp air to calm his agitated nerves, letting himself be lulled into a state of peace by the warmth washing over him.

Laurance couldn’t say exactly how long he had been there, but he felt the water start to cool, breaking him out of his stupor. He turned the shower off, missing the rhythmic sound of water hitting the tile.

He stepped out of the shower, liquid rolling down his body and dripping to the floor softly. He dried himself off and dressed, before grabbing another towel for his hair. He fluffed it through his hair before removing the towel from his head, red eyes meeting his own in the mirror.

Laurance gasped out in shock, his heart pounding against his chest, although the image he saw now was nothing more than his own wide terrified blue eyes. He stood perfectly still, breath heavy with fear, eyes scanning the mirror for any signs of movement.

Moments passed in near silence, the only sound that filled the room was the slight drip from the shower and his own labored breathing. Laurance finally tore his gaze away from his reflection, running his hands through his still damp hair, sighing heavily. He gave one last wary glance toward the mirror before opening the door and leaving the confines of the bathroom.

He walked slowly down the hall, partially because he didn’t wish to wake the others, but if he was being honest it was more due to the fact that he was exhausted. He was absolutely drained, mentally, physically, emotionally. He was running on empty, but his mind was wide awake, trying to process things that Laurance could barely piece together, much less actually decipher.

Laurance found himself in the kitchen, his weary body making it’s way over to the table before collapsing into one of the chairs. He rubbed his hands down his face, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes and make even the smallest amount of sense about the spinning world around him.

Laurance removed his hands from his face, glancing at the digital clock on the stove. 4:17 huh? Well, seems as good a time as any to start the day.

 

* * *

 

 

Laurance was jolted from his daze by someone snapping their fingers in front of his face. His head shot up, eyes wide and unfocused, scanning the room for the other being.

“Hey, chill out, it’s just me.” He heard a low voice call out. Laurance turned his head toward the voice, finding it to belong to a certain black-haired, hoodie wearing, emo.

“You’re up early,” Zane said, folding his arms together almost disapprovingly. “Again.”

Laurance glanced up at the clock again, the time now reading 6:51. Had he really been that lost in thought? Or had he dozed off somewhere along the way?

“Couldn’t sleep.” He wasn’t exactly lying, it was just that there was more to it then insomnia.

Zane sighed, shaking his head. “You’ve been making that same excuse for the past week Laurance.” He spoke softly, which may be due to the early morning hours, but there was an underlying tone in his voice that gave way to something akin to concern.

Laurance looked back down at the table, avoiding eye contact with Zane. It was almost harder to meet his lone eye than a pair of them. Maybe it was because he only showed one that the emotion felt amplified.

Laurance heard the sound of a chair being pulled up next to him, alerting him that Zane had taken a seat beside him. He sat motionlessly, not even so much as glancing toward Zane’s direction.

The silence between them ticked on, the only sound filling the room was their quiet breathing and small chirps from birds outside the window.

“Look,” Zane started, his low voice breaking the serene blanket of silence that had fallen over them. “I know we’re not close in the slightest,”

Laurance chuckled as if what Zane said wasn’t the biggest understatement in history. Zane and he weren’t close, far from it in fact. Laurance doubted they would even spend time together if it weren’t for their friends having such close ties. So no, they really weren’t close.

“But, you’re really starting to worry people.” Zane’s words brought Laurance’s attention back to their conversation. Had he really been that obvious? He thought he had been hiding his constant exhaustion pretty well.

“You’re starting to worry me.” Zane’s words were spoken so softly that Laurance almost missed them, but the weight of them fell heavy on his ears. He finally raised his head, looking at Zane with bewilderment written across his face.

Zane’s face was twisted into mild discomfort, Laurance knew that talking about emotions was difficult for Zane, he even related to it, albeit on a smaller scale. Laurance never liked the pitying glances and hollow words of encouragement that came from talking about his problems, so he never did.

“You don’t have to talk about it, but…” Zane trailed off, seemingly choosing his next words as carefully as he could. “If you need someone to talk to, someone that won’t pity you, I’m here.” His words were soft, little more than a whisper, but they were sincere.

Laurance continued to stare at Zane, confusion covering his features as he tried to process his words. He felt the emotion behind them, but Laurance found that he couldn’t quite understand the sudden change in the Ro’Meave. Zane said it himself, they weren’t close, and yet here he was, offering the support of a good friend and showing emotions that he rarely showed anyone else.

Maybe there was more to Zane then he thought…

Laurance hung his head again, not to hide his face, but more so in an attempt to clear his thoughts. “It’s, hard to describe.” He started rather lame. But it was true, he had no idea how to explain what he had been going through.  

“Do you ever feel like,” Laurance broke off again, trying desperately to put his thoughts into words. Something that would allow Zane to understand the emotions that were swirling up inside him.

“Like you’ve had a previous life?” Laurance’s voice was soft and full of confusion and discontent. He was barely able to make sense of his own feelings, and yet here he was, trying to express them to someone else. Laurance turned to Zane, his eyes almost begging that Zane understood and would help Laurance himself understand the chaos of his own mind.

Zane simply stared at Laurance, silently urging him to continue. Laurance kept eye contact as he struggled to find his words. They stared at each other a few moments more, one lost in his own inner turmoil, the other trying to convince him to persist. Once the eye contact became too intense to bear, Laurance looked down again, finally breaking the silent communication they held.

Laurance once again found his voice, continuing with his explanation. “I know it sounds insane,” His voice was a mere whisper, as though he feared Zane would walk away, leaving Laurance with nothing but his raging thoughts. “But sometimes, I feel like this is a do-over.”

Laurance lifted his hands from the table, looking at them with frustration, as though they could tell him the answers to his torment. “Almost like I’ve lived before, a long time ago.” Laurence’s voice was full of confusion, but there was something there that neither he nor Zane fully understood. It was something akin to longing. As for what he did not know, but it was there, a calling he could never answer, a hunger he could never satisfy.

Zane leaned back in his chair, the only real movement from him since he seated himself next to Laurance. He let out a heavy exhale, causing Laurance to turn toward him at the sound. His face was unreadable, making it hard to judge his emotions and what he would say next.

Laurance felt his stomach clench, he knew he sounded crazy, but actually hearing someone say it would be a ten times worse. “Sorry.” He felt himself say before he could stop it. Laurance turned his head away, looking towards the wall opposite Zane and slowly lowering his hands.

“It’s,” He started slowly, heart sinking as words tumbled from his mouth. He should have never said anything. “It’s stupid, just tired ramblings.” He chuckled softly, although it was obviously forced he prayed that Zane didn’t pick up on it.

“No, it’s not.” He heard Zane call out softly. Laurance once again faced Zane, their eyes meeting briefly before Zane broke the contact, looking down at his lap. Zane struggled to find his own words, trying to offer support and understanding to Laurance.

Laurance’s gaze was intense, eyes hopeful and expectant, although he stayed silent.

“I have felt that same way before.” He said, causing Laurance’s breathing to halt momentarily, elated that someone else could relate to his struggles, that he could talk to someone that would understand.

“It’s only ever been small things, but yeah,” Zane spoke, causing Laurance to focus on him again. He lifted his head, looking Laurance straight in the eyes with a look so intense that Laurance felt like turning away. It felt like Zane was looking into his soul, reading into his being so passionately that it almost burned.  “I understand.” He spoke so suddenly that it took Laurance a few moments to process his words. The relief that flooded his body and mind at hearing those words was instant, causing his whole body to slacken in his chair.

Zane relaxed again, leaning his upper body against the table, signaling that he was done.

Laurance fell silent, unsure if he should continue or not. He had given Zane an explanation, but there was far more to his problems than just a sense of yearning. He found that he wanted to share his dreams, his fears, with Zane, with anyone really, but he still found himself doubting. What if Zane told him he was overreacting? After all, they were just dreams, but they felt so _real_. Every little thing felt more like a memory than just a nightmare, even down to the smallest detail.

Zane soon caught onto Laurance’s hesitation, his features changing ever so slightly, becoming softer and more welcoming. “Laurance, it’s ok, I’m not going to judge you.” He spoke caringly, his voice becoming low and gentle, as though he was trying to calm the fears and doubts Laurance held.

Laurance exhaled shakily, noticing he had gotten more worked up than previously thought.

“I keep having these weird dreams,” He started slowly, wondering how in the name of Irene he would explain his nightmares. “About a world of fire and lava.” Laurance looked up at Zane helplessly, silently willing him to understand, to see what he had seen.

“Sometimes I wake up gasping because it feels so real.” Laurance looked at his hands, almost like he could envision his dreams in his mind’s eye, letting him see into an world of darkness. “It feels like I’m there.” His voice is quiet, almost disbelieving himself.

“I can feel the heat on my skin, I can hear the crackle of the fire, the pop of the lava, and yet,” Laurance stops himself again, his voice low and full of frustration and small amounts of anger. Angry at himself for being unable to decipher these hellish dreams, angry that he had to go through this. “Yet I always wake up. No matter how real it feels, it’s only a dream.” Laurance finished gently, all anger leaving his form and voice, giving way to pure exhaustion.

Zane stared silently at Laurance, his face blank, but Laurance could see the gears turning in his head, his thoughts in overdrive as he processed the Information Laurance gave him. After moments of strained silence, Zane rested his arm on the table, leaning into his hand as he mulled over Laurance’s words.

“I see visions of blood red eyes, and…” Laurance was aware he was talking again, the words flowing from his mouth freely, before he could even register what he was saying. He shivered, the hairs on the nape of his neck standing on end, a chill making its way down his spine. Zane’s eye focused on him again, previous thoughts forgotten in favor of listening to Laurance.

“They scare the hell out of me.” Laurance’s voice shook, dread creeping into his stomach, making it clench and tighten. He could feel his pulse quicken, as much as he struggled to stay calm, he could feel the panic rising.

“Because they’re mine.” His voice was a whisper, shaking and strained, as he struggled to keep his composer. He looked to Zane again, eye’s fearful and questioning.

Zane’s face changed in an instant, the veil of indifference melting away into something protective. He gave Laurance a brotherly look, one that Laurance had seen him use on Vylad, and even Garroth at times. He pulled Laurance into a gentle hug, startling Laurance momentarily at the sudden embrace, but Zane felt him slowly relax into it, his head resting on Zane’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for a few moments, silent and comforting. Laurance slowly pulled away, a weary smile on his lips as he looked at Zane. “Thank you, I,” He started, a sigh making its way past his lips. “I needed that.”

Laurance wasn’t sure whether Zane had smiled back at him, but he saw his eyes crease ever so slightly. “No problem.” He spoke easily, a warm look in his eye. “Little Laurance.” He said teasingly, and Laurance could tell he was smirking under his mask. So the nicknames were back, great.

Laurance raised his eyebrow, a smirk of his own making its way onto his lips. “And here I thought we had a bonding moment, why must you wound me so?” He said dramatically, throwing a hand over his forehead with a heavy sigh.

Zane simply stared at him before their eyes met, both of them breaking into laughter at the ridiculous antics. Once they had calmed down they shared another smile, the moment peaceful and silent, before Zane had to ruin it.

“And that’s enough human interaction for today. I’m gonna go to my room and binge shows on Netflix, see ya later Laurance.” And with that, he stood up and walked back up the stairs. Laurance sat there, staring at where Zane had disappeared before chuckling lightly to himself, he really did have weird friends.


	2. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! I planned to have this chapter out like, a week ago, but I kept forgetting to post it, I've been playing too much Breath of the wild. Anyway, enjoy this long-ass chapter as an apology.

Discomfort, pain, _agony._ It hurt, why did it hurt? His body was on fire, the searing pain jolting his tortured mind into a new state of consciousness, he was aware of _everything_ and yet he couldn’t hear, couldn’t see, couldn’t think. The pain was immeasurable, something he knew he couldn’t bear, and yet he was offered no relief. The agony was taking him down down down into a spiral of madness. Where was he? How did he get here? Why did it hurt so much? He didn’t ask for this, he didn’t want this. What had he done to deserve this amount of torment? Irene help him, for whatever he had done he felt the anguish of remorse, just please, help him. Please please please Irene, please! He didn’t know how much more he could take, he didn’t want to find out. He wanted this to stop, he wanted to rest, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t, he knew it. He could feel his mind breaking slowly, trying to fight, trying to stay strong, but he didn’t want to be strong. Being strong got him hurt.

He could hear things from the world around him, screams of agony and tortured pleas mixing with bone-chilling laughter. Screams filled the air around him, making him want to hide, making him want to run as far as he could. But he couldn’t move, he couldn’t move at all, he felt himself curl up as much as his restraints and the agony would allow. He heard someone chuckle beside him, terror gripped his heart as his eyes flew open at the sound, when had he shut them?

Although his eyes were open, he was met with nothing but a black void. It stretched on endlessly, his eyes straining to see through the inky darkness. He felt the ghost of icy hands gripping his body, it felt like they were pulling him down, trying to drown him in the sea of shadows. He knew he was struggling, trying desperately to hold on, to what he did not know, but the feeling of raw dread and absolute _terror_ that gripped his mind was enough to keep him clinging tightly.

The sounds in his ears grew, more screams, more laughter, but there were words now, quiet, almost inaudible, as he tried to focus on them. They slowly got louder, more sounds joining them, an unholy choir of noises that he struggled to decipher. There was a buzzing noise now, it made his hair stand on end and his body tense. It got louder, or was it getting closer? He didn’t know, he didn’t _want_ to know.

The words were louder now, he could make out what they were saying. _Let go let go let go_ . Let go of what? _Everything._ The relief he had felt at the words before was gone, dissolved in an instant. He couldn’t, he couldn’t let go. He had to fight, he had to. He didn’t know why, but he knew he had to fight. The words got louder still, now crashing against his skull, a barrage of screams, buzzing, and the ever-present chant of _Let go let go let go_ **_let go let go LET GO!_ **  He shook his head wildly, as though he could shake the words from his mind. He felt warm liquid running down his face, whether it was blood or tears he would never know. He slowly opened his eyes, trying to find relief in the darkness around him.

He wasn’t alone. He could feel it. Past the words, past the buzzing and screams, past the darkness, he could feel something, something so delicately intertwined with him that it felt like a _part of him_. His eyes scanned the blackness, trying to find the other being, wishing for it to call out to him, wishing to call out to it. He felt the immense relief that filled his body, he wasn’t alone here. He could feel it slowly get closer, as the feeling of relief was slowly twisted into fear. Why was he afraid? He should be happy, he wasn’t alone. Despite his attempts to calm his fears, he only felt himself become more agitated as the being got closer. Did his body know something his mind did not? A primal instinct meant to keep him alive? This was it, the entity was here. He lifted his head to meet it, blood red eyes glaring at him from the darkness.

* * *

 

Laurance shot upwards, a blood-curdling scream wrenching itself free from his throat. His eyes were wide, unblinking as they scanned the room rapidly, darting back and forth from every shadow, every crevice, any place that demons could hide.

He heard the sounds of footsteps running down the stairs and making their way to his room but couldn’t be bothered to move. He stared, eyes full of terror as his chest heaved in air, not enough but far too much. It felt like his chest was going to explode, he couldn’t think, he didn’t want to think. Hands wove themselves in his hair, grasping and pulling as he let his head fall to his chest.

The door to his room was flung open, and yet he didn’t move a muscle. Suddenly there were other people beside him, saying things he could barely make out. “-rance? Can you hear me?”

He could, but he didn’t want to. “-ou’re safe” That was a lie.

He could feel warm hands slowly raise to his own, gently prying them from his scalp before holding them. He pulled away weakly, the hands holding him slipping away, resting beside him on the bed.

Bed...that was odd, to say the least. He didn’t remember a bed, was there supposed to be a bed? Come to think of it, didn’t he know those voices? He had to know them, but who did they belong to? Where did they come from? Where...where was he?

Laurance focused on the bed he was laying on, the light green sheets, the hands laying beside his, the aura of his surroundings. He searched his memories, trying to wrack his brain for the answers to these seemingly simple questions. He felt his breath slow, calming ever so slightly as he cleared his thoughts.

“It’s ok, we got you. You're safe.” There was that voice again, it was low, gentle, and most definitely a male’s. Laurance could tell it belonged to the hands he was staring at, and it would be so easy to match a face to the voice, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up. He couldn’t bring himself to meet it’s, _his,_ eyes.

Laurance found that his breathing had evened out and that he could finally hear the world around him clearly again, instead of like he was underwater. ~~**_Like he was drowning_**~~. Laurance exhaled shakily, trying his best to calm his raw nerves.

“Are you alright?” He heard Garroth ask quietl- _Garroth._ That was it, that was the voice. It was his, Garroth’s. Laurance felt himself relax, his body going slack. It was _Garroth_ , it was his best friend, he was completely safe, he was sure of that now.

“Really Garroth? Really?” Laurance heard a snark-filled voice call out, sounding almost disappointed with Garroth’s words. Looks like Zane was here as well.

“What?” Came the completely innocent, and rather confused, response.

“He has a major panic attack, and that’s the first thing you ask?” Laurance could feel the judgemental glare in those words.

Laurance slowly felt his mouth turn upwards, a small chuckle making it’s way past his lips at the banter from the two brothers. He let his head lift, no longer fearing what his eyes would be met with. “You two are horrible at this.” He said, voice full of amusement and eyes bright.

Garroth and Zane turned back to Laurance, both giving him a look of surprise. They quickly got over their shock, Zane’s impassive facade covering his features once again, and a shining grin on Garroth’s face.

“You’re back!” Garroth said excitedly, going to hug Laurance, but he suddenly stopped, pulling back as his features become timid and unsure. “Umm, can I…?” He said, gesturing helplessly to his hands and then to Laurance.

Laurance huffed out a chuckle, it was touching that his best friend cared so much. “Sure, I mean, I’d have to be insane to turn down a Garroth hug.” He said, a smile of his own still adorning his face.

The worry melted from Garroth’s face in an instant, replaced with his heartwarming smile. He pulled Laurance into a tight embrace, burying his face in Laurance’s neck as he hugged him, causing Laurance’s face to heat up slightly, a light blush dusting over his cheeks. He thanked Irene that it was dark, otherwise, Zane would no doubt be laughing at him.

Garroth pulled away slowly, a small sigh leaving his lips as his features dimmed. Laurance was about to ask him what was wrong, but before he could speak Garroth was already talking.

“Now, the reason why we’re here in the first place…” He spoke softly, his sentence trailing off, but Laurance got the picture. They wanted to know why he screamed, they wanted to know what was wrong, they wanted to fix him.

Laurance felt his body deflate, his shoulders slumping as he exhaled. He didn’t want to talk about it, at all. It was, terrifying, to put it lightly. He didn’t want to think about, much less try to put it into words.

He felt a hand slowly lower itself onto his shoulder, causing him to look up, meeting bright blue caring eyes.

“Laurance,” Garroth spoke quietly, as though he was trying to calm Laurance’s fears. “Can you please tell us what happened?” Garroth’s eyes were reassuring and bright, and his voice was low and comforting.

“We’re not here to judge you.” Zane said, causing Laurance to turn to him. His mask hid his features, and his hair still covered his face, but the emotion pouring from his lone eye was enough to make Laurance pause. These are his _friends_ , he can trust them with anything. The thought alone made him relax, the tension ebbing away.

Laurance took in a shaky breath, steeling himself for the most intense conversation of his life.

“I...I don’t know how to describe it.” Well, that makes things harder, doesn’t it?

“Just, start with what you remember.” He heard Garroth say. He remembered _everything_ , putting it into words was the hard part.

“Start from the beginning.” Laurance could practically hear the eye-roll in Zane’s words, although whether it was meant for him or Garroth he wasn’t sure. But he had a feeling it was meant for the latter.

“I was in pain, no, pain isn’t the right word for it. It was _agony._ ” That was a great start to things, make yourself sound crazy right off the bat. “I could hear screaming, people begging for the pain to stop, and…” Laurance felt a shudder go down his spine as he described his dream, his nightmare. “I could hear laughter.” He looked up at Garroth, a deep fear etched into his features as he recalled what he had heard. “A low, sadistic laughter, mixing in with screaming, making the most terrifying sound you could ever hear.” He spoke quietly, as though talking any louder would pull him right back into the hellscape of his mind.

He felt the hand on his shoulder squeeze ever so slightly tighter, grounding him in the present and chasing away the darkness of his mind. He slowly raised a hand to cover Garroth’s, and if the circumstances were different he knew Zane would be poking fun at him.

“It was pitch black, imagine the darkest black you can think of. It was darker than that. It was darker than anything I’ve ever seen before in my life. And it stretched on forever, there was nothing but inky darkness as far as the eye could see.” Laurance continued, voice shaking as he remembered everything. The screaming, the buzzing, the laughter, the pure _terror_ running through his veins. He gripped Garroth’s hand tighter, he was almost done, he could do this.

“I,” Laurance’s voice was little more than a crook, causing him to pause to breath. He was aware that he was shaking, but he could do this, he had to. They needed to know, he couldn’t tell you why, but they did.

It was silent, the only sound filling the room being Laurance’s shaky breaths as he tried to collect himself. Minutes passed before Laurance broke it.

“I wasn’t alone.” The words fell freely from his lips, as though he had opened the gates of a dam, or broke the glass of an aquarium tank. “I could feel it, I knew there was something there, just beyond the darkness, watching me.” Laurance glared into the darkness of his room, as though it was responsible for his torment. “It was waiting, for what I don’t know, but I don’t think it found it.”

His words sparked surprise in the Ro’Meaves, they shared a look of confusion before Zane decided to voice their thoughts. “What makes you say that?” He spoke, voice betraying his indifferent appearance and breaking way to show his bewilderment, although neither Laurance nor Garroth commented on it.

“Because,” Laurance’s voice was dripping with contempt, his eyes dark and burning. “I can still feel it.”

Garroth and Zane looked to each other in shock, sharing a silent question between them. Is he ok? Is he even sane right now?

Laurance didn’t seem to notice their exchange, because he continued without hesitation. “It’s like I can feel it there, in the very back of my mind. It’s so _tantalizingly close_ and yet I can’t reach it.” His voice carried anger, but then gave way to defeat. His shoulders slumped again, having gone rigid and tense with anger.  

Garroth squeezed his shoulder once more, as though he was apologizing to Laurance for his frustration. Laurance merely turned his head away, looking at the floor with pleading in his eyes, as though it could tell him the secrets of his mind.

“It’s there, I _know_ it.” Laurance started helplessly, he wasn’t crazy, he couldn’t be. These had to mean _something_ , but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what. “I want to understand what all this means, the dreams, the visions, I want to. I **_need_** to!” Laurance whipped his head back to Garroth, eyes wide and pleading, he knew he was right. He had to be.

Garroth’s eyes were soft, the pain in his heart for his friend growing. It hurt to see him like this, looking so lost. He wanted to help, but he knew that Laurance was beyond tired, he doubted that he even knew what he was saying. “Laurance…” He kept his words as soft as possible, squeezing Laurance’s shoulder reassuringly as he tried to calm his friend down.

Laurance pulled his shoulder away from Garroth violently, pushing himself closer to the wall as he felt his anger and frustration rise. He **_wasn’t_  **crazy. Garroth’s looked almost hurt at Laurance’s actions, as though he couldn’t understand why his friend was angry.

“You don’t understand! Don’t act like I’m speaking nonsense! You would understand if you’ve seen what I have! I’m **_not_   **crazy!” He was aware he was yelling, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. They didn’t understand, they would **_NEVER_  **understand, they had no right to act as though they did.

“Laurance, we’re not saying you’re crazy. We want to help.” Zane spoke softly but firmly, he didn’t want to upset Laurance, he was close enough to hysteria already, Zane didn’t want to add to that.

Laurance chuckled dryly, as though Zane were making a terrible joke that Laurance felt obligated to laugh at. “Help?” He said slowly, making Zane’s skin crawl because he could tell that his words fell on deaf ears. “So now there’s something wrong with me?” He asked with genuine confusion, and Zane could feel his stomach tighten at the words. The look of horror that covered Garroth’s face didn’t go unnoticed either.

“Of course not!” Garroth cried out, his voice full of torment and his chest feeling like it was going to burst from the pain. He knew he couldn’t help his friend, and it made him sick. He would have continued, he would have tried to tell Laurance everything good about him, why they loved him. But Laurance continued speaking.

“It’s there, it’s so close, I don’t know what it means but it’s there for the love of Irene just **_TELL ME!!_** ” Laurance was practically screaming at this point, his voice full of anguish and rage, trying to fit together the broken pieces of his visions and dreams. Chasing apparitions, clutching at things he could only see in the corners of his vision. He had no way of knowing if he would ever get answers, or if there were answers to be found.

He suddenly stopped, he didn’t move, not for a second. His eyes wide and fixed, on what neither Zane nor Garroth could see. For a moment they were worried he wasn’t breathing, but they could see his chest moving ever so slightly.

“Laurance? Are you alright?” Garroth asked, his voice shaking. He was worried, actually, if he was being honest, he was terrified. His best friend was completely unresponsive and staring off into the distance as though he wasn’t even seeing into this world anymore. So yeah, he had a pretty damn good reason to be shaky right now.

Zane soon joined him, snapping his fingers in front of Laurance’s face. He didn’t even blink. Zane pulled back, running a hand through his pitch black locks as he wracked his brain for a way to break Laurance out of his stupor.

Laurance suddenly inhaled sharply, as though he had been held underwater and was now trying to heave in as much air as he could. His eyes blinked rapidly as he looked around his dark room, a rather confused look covering his features as the world returned to him. He could still see it, the clash of swords, the feeling of heavy weighted armor on his body, the rush of battle, the rage coursing through his veins, blood red eyes.

Relief flooded the Ro’Meaves, although Garroth was the only one to act on it. “Laurance! You scared us half to death. Thank Irene you’re alright!” He said, voice slightly choked toward the end, but still full of overwhelming happiness. But Laurance didn’t notice, or at the very least didn’t acknowledge it.

“I understand now…” He said quietly, something akin to disbelief in his voice. He looked down at his hands, wondering how in the name of Irene they could ever weld a sword. Wondering how they could defend, protect. Wondering how they could **kill**.

“Laurance?” Garroth’s voice was soft, panic returning at his friend’s dismissal. He had no idea what Laurance was thinking, what had just happened, and it scared him to no end. “What are you talking about?” His voice betrayed him, shaking with worry and fear, no matter how he tried to hide it.

Zane looked at Laurance expectantly, but Garroth could see the concern on his face, whether it was meant for Laurance or not he couldn’t tell. And that only added to his anxiety.

Laurance lifted his head, looking at Garroth, his bright blue eyes clear and knowing, and for the first time in months, they actually looked relaxed, they looked like Laurance’s eyes, his best friend’s eyes, not like the eyes of some madman. Laurance spoke again, and his words felt like they made time stand still.

 

 

“I remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was a trip. I hope you all enjoyed this fic, and, if you couldn't tell, I plan to make this a series. It will be a side project though, seeing as I'm already working on a multichapter fic for RvB (shameless self-plug). But I promise I will make more stories for the Aphmau Fandom, although they'll mostly contain the original characters because I lowkey don't like the drama in the new seasons, sue me lol. But yes, this series will contain HEAVY references to MCD, so if you haven't watched it, be warned. That's it for now, have an amazing day everyone! 😄

**Author's Note:**

> So, that's the first chapter. Don't worry though, I have the next chapter almost all written up, but I want to make you suffer for a bit, lol. I need to do some revisions, but it should be up in the next two days or so, you won't have to wait too long. 
> 
> As always, comments and critics are always appreciated.


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